Lies
by CosmicPudding
Summary: We all have little lies we tell ourself. Well, at least, Cory did. ShawnCory


**Title:** Lies-Extended drabble  
**Author: ****pikapika217** AKA **homogenius** AKA CosmicPudding  
**Fandom**: Boy Meets World  
**Pairing: **Shawn/Cory  
**Rating: **PG-13, a smidge of angst, happy ending  
**Summary: **A angsty finding your truth fic set in the general future of BWM after Cory, Topanga, Jack and Shawn have moved to New York  
**Note: **This is an extended version of the sentence 'Lies' from the Gamma set. I knew I couldn't contain myself with just that sentence, and so, I had to write this to obtain my piece of mind. Anyway, this is a taste of what the sentences will sort of be like. I hope you enjoy it!

**Lies**

We all have little lies we tell ourselves.

Well, at least Cory did. Lies like 'It not at all comfortable being intimate with Shawn' or 'His kisses aren't the best I've ever had.' They were stupid lies, but one's had to tell himself, or else everything would be ruined.

I mean he finally had everything he ever wanted: A nice house, A beautiful, loving wife and a life of his own. So, why wasn't he happy with what he had? Why was he relieved by the new that he was sterile? Why wasn't he more upset about he and Topanga being on the verge of divorce?

Maybe Shawn knew. Knew how he truly felt. Knew about how much he couldn't say out loud. Wait, no. He couldn't know. Who knows how'd he react? Especially now, after the incident happened.

The whole stack of little lies had consumed Cory, until he couldn't tell which feelings were true or fabricated. They were no longer lies; they were a way of life; A very fragile tragic way of life, but a way none the less. Everything was normal until the heart attack. He hadn't been feeling very well since the night before, and on the way back to work from lunch, he fainted.

He woke up a few hours later, his hand being grasped Tightly by someone in a chair.

"Shawn?" it indeed was Shawn, or was it? They had stopped hanging out a lot a few months ago, only calling each other every once in a while, and seeing each other for a few minutes on holidays. He hadn't noticed then, but he looked drastically different. His hair was slightly longer than he remembered and fell a little past the nape of his neck. He had also gained a bit of muscle, though you could hardly see that through the jacket he had on. But most interesting were the new pair of thinly framed glasses that adorned his nose. When had he started to wear glasses?

Since when didn't he know everything about him? Why exactly had they lost touch? Because of him and his insecurity? Why ex---- was shawn kissing him?

While Cory was slowly re-evaluating his now strained relationship with Shawn, shawn was re defining it. The kiss had started on his hands, which didn't mean anything sure, but then he started talking.

"Dear god, Cor; What's wrong with us? What happened to our friendship? Why don't we see each other more often? I'll tell you why; because I don't have the balls to tell you the truth"

And just like that, I knew what was coming: in that state of mind, there was no need to deny it. I knew. He knew. We both knew, both of us always knew. It was too much to deal with back then: love for anyone, especially your male best friend, was just to much to think about. Several times I had wished for it to go away, this unnatural love for him. He knew though, think back to it. There wasn't ever a real indication, but I knew: Hugs that lasted a few seconds more than they needed to, the need to always touch each other, whether it was 'accidentally' or on purpose. Were we sending each other signs all this time? Why didn't I notice? Why…Why is Shawn kissing my forehead?

It wasn't a sensual kiss, but 2 or 3 short ones at the very top of my head. And soon his lips moved closer to mine, to my cheeks… and then, our lips brushed each other, and suddenly, we started to kiss. It was slow at first with no tongue, but it didn't take long for my mouth to open up and respond. I wanted to be outraged, to be a little upset that he would kiss me in this state, but I just couldn't. All I could think about is kissing him longer, faster, more passionate, and worrying about when he stop and then where we'd be then.

I'm not sure exactly how long we kissed, but it was too short. He pulled away, and my eyes snapped open, startling both of us. And then we just stared at each other, and Shawn bit his lower lip with a look of guilt in his eyes. I could just stare back, slack jawed and amazed. When did he learn how to kiss like that? Why….I could feel that something else was up with Shawn, so I looked down, and sure enough, we were both, uh, 'happy' with this new development in our relationship.

"Dammit Cor..."

And then he left me, nearly running out of the room. No, I couldn't not do anything…could I?

It took nearly 3 months after the incident for him to answer one of my calls, saying back 'Just….don't Cor. Just…don't.'. Topanga, being Topanga, had been over a few times, and would just look at me with that all knowing smile. Did she know too? Did everyone know?

"You should go see him, Cory" she said more than once before.

"Why aren't you upset about this; why are you ok with it?" I replied, already knowing the answer. We must have had this exact conversation more than a dozen times. I knew her answer. I just needed to hear it again.

"Because I stole you away from him; when we were little, I could see that there was always something special between the two of you, but I couldn't help myself."

"Then why…"

"Because I feel in love with you, Cory. But I was selfish. I couldn't make you happy like he could. Go to him Cory; you're meant for each other."

It took that time hearing it for me to do something about it. So, the next day, I went over his house. He being 'Surprised to see' could be the understatement of the year. He looked at me like I was the ghost of Christmas past, but let me in anyway. I thanked him by kissing him on the neck, and it wasn't long before he shoved me away. I grinned a little, as I noticed that his pants were beginning to tent.

"What, is this some sort of joke to you? 'Yeah, I'm bored; I'll just mess with Shawn emotionally'. I may love you, but I not that desperate for you affection. I do have pride, and..."

"Shawn, this isn't a joke. I could _never_ joke about this…about us"

"So why now? Why now?"

"I _missed_ you Shawnie"

"You don't have to _be_ with me or me to be in your life. You're still my best friend. I just needed some time away"

Dammit! He's not getting it! I was aggravated, and did the only thing I could do: push him onto and straddle him.

"Cor…" he sighed again.

"Dammit Shawn! This is no joke. I love you! Why can't you believe it? Why can't you believe in me?" I had to try hard not to tear up there, or let my voice crackle

"I'll tell you why: You can have anyone you want! What do you want with a piece of white trash like me? I couldn't take it if you left me for something better. I could understand, but I couldn't bare it. Think long and hard, Cor; are you really prepared to spend the rest of our lives together?"

White Trash?...It took all of me to keep from punching him in the jaw, so I settled for his arm.

"How dare you talk like that about the person I love. Don't you get it Shawn? There _is_ nothing better out there for me. You're it, Shawn. You've always been 'it'. I didn't come all the way here to just straddle you for no reason. I'm not going anywhere."

He just looked up at me and smirked, before switching our positions, claiming my lips and tearing off all of my clothes.

All that worry and doubt I had disappeared. The feeling of uneasiness subsided, and all that was left was my love. Not one did it feel wrong: not after we moved into our own apartment, nor when we exchanges rings on our living room couch, or even when he finally let me top.

None of it felt wrong. We didn't even have to tell everyone; Topanga, being Topanga, sensed the change in the air and told everyone before we had to. But she later told me that instead of shock, mom and dad were relieved ("Your dad even said 'It's about time'" She recalled.), Eric just laughed and said he knew and Morgan just scoffed and said 'and...?'

It all fell into place so quickly that it scared me at first. But now for too long a time; Shawn made sure of that much at least. It may not be what I thought it would be, but I wouldn't trade my life for the world. Oh sure, it's damn hard sometimes, and there have been several night when one of us slept on the couch, or went to bed angry or upset, but despite all of the hardships, or maybe because of them, I could still say with a straight face that it wasn't worth it, but I'd be lying again, and I try not to do that as much anymore, no matter how good I was at it.

-Fin-

whew! This Drabble grew legs and became a full fledged fic, ne?

Anyway, like I said, I currently have claim over Cory/Shawn at the **1sentence** community. I'm working on a bunch of other stuff, but be sure to expect the sentences by Halloween.

The final chapter of'Boy' is on the way. I'm really sorry for the wait. 'Boy' hasn't been on my mind again until recently, and I don't want to rush it and make it crappy (I _HATE _when authors do that. and I know you'd rather have quality over speed, ne?) I can say that it's a third of the way done, and that it's called 'Just the way you are' after the Billy Joel song, and it involved a breakdown, then resolution in our Sparco's paradise. If it's not up by Thanksgiving, feel free to punish me all you wish! ok?

Anyway, that's all for today! Please R+R!

Till later,

bye bye boo!


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